Blame It on the Rain
God awoke and rambled onto his porch. The rain soaked his driveway. I
could make it a sunny day, God thought, but if I scheduled rain, I must have had
a good reason for it.
***
Jack stumbled onto his front stoop. As he set
the sprinkler on the saturated grass, a car pulled up.
“Hey, don’t I know you? What are you doing?
Can’t you see its pouring out?” the driver called.
“Forecast said sun,” Jack grunted.
“You’re the T.V. weatherman, right?”
Jack began his walk to the station..
***
Jean awoke grinning. She quickly sat up, threw
her legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. She was reminded of the first
time she had ridden her bike without training wheels. For the last 12 years a
body cast had kept her in bed. Jean opened her diary to the entry from last
night.
1.
go to the
beach
2.
walk in
the park
3.
ride a bicycle.
She glanced
at the cross hanging on the wall. “Thank you so much for this one day of
freedom.”
***
God sighed as he looked out at the rain. His
brow creased as he tried to remember. There was a girl, and she needed a good
day. Who was she? Then it all came flooding back like Noah on his
Was that today, he thought. Where’s my
calendar?
***
Jack sloshed into the Television station,
dripping all the way to his desk. He rolled his eyes when he saw the sticky
note from his boss: See me asap!
“Jack, it’s happened too often. We don’t pay
you to be wrong. You’re fired.”
Jack stormed out of the station manager’s
office and headed back into the downpour. “What? Am I supposed to be
omniscient?” he muttered to himself.
***
Jean took her new bathing suit and bike helmet
from the closet and put them in her beach bag. She smiled and headed down to
the kitchen. She turned on the TV, poured some cereal, glanced out of the
window, and suddenly noticed the thunderous rainstorm. “NO!” she screamed. She
turned towards the TV where a cross hung on the wall above. “How could you do
this to me? This is my one day!”
***
Gabriel flew
through the door.
“Well,
the farmers and firefighters will be happy for this rain.”
“Yeah, maybe it was a good idea,” God said. “But
there’s this girl; she really needed a nice day. I don’t know.”
***
Jean tore the cross from the wall and threw the
front door open. Glaring out into the storm she screamed, “I’ll never believe
in you again!” and hurled the cross out the door.
The cross hit Jack on his right temple,
inducing an immediate throbbing headache. He turned and saw a girl seething at
him from her front doorway. “What the hell was that for?” he said.
“I hate you,” Jean screamed back. If you’re
listening God, Jean prayed, please fire that damned weatherman.
God damn, Jack thought to himself, it’s like
these people think I made it rain!
***
God waved as Gabriel flew off into the rain.
“Wow, it still hasn’t let up,” God thought. “Guess I really knew what I was
doing.”